The Family is Born

Caye Caulker = Paradise!!

Belize, was not even on the radar when I left on this trip.  Katherine was planning on going to Mexico to meet friends and I was to be going to Honduras.  Her plans fell through and we decided that Caye Caulker would be the place to be.  We knew of two people that would be there, Cheyney and Rachel so why not us!!  We arrived on the boat and realized that the right decision was made!!  Crystal blue waters, white sands and no need to wear shoes.  It took us all of five minutes to find Cheyney walking down the main road, followed by Rachael a few minutes later.

Silk Snapper caught by me

The island is beautiful and has a relaxed atmosphere like no other place I have ever been.  During the day most people go do an activity, i.e. snorkeling.  The other choices are pretty much limited to going to the split.  The split is the north end of the island where a hurricane split the entire island in half.  It is the only area to sun bath and swim, as they have hauled sand onto the area for this purpose.  The evenings are spent eating and relaxing over a few beers.  There are only two night spots on the island, the I & I Reggae Club and The Oceanside. I was excited about the reggae club, but soon realized that it was far from a reggae club.  False advertisement!!  They played crap club music.  The good thing about this club is that the bar stools were actually swings.  Best idea ever, swinging at a bar!!  The Oceanside was not much better, same crap music, different setting.  Since this was the only two options, one deals with it and makes the best of things.

Cheyney´s fishing style

That is pretty much how the two weeks I spent on the island went.  But of course there were highlights.  On the third day, Tim arrived.  On the fifth day the Great Danes arrived, Linda and Bella.  Our family was born, seven of us from all over the planet.

Captain Dice

Katherine´s catch...WOW!!!

Jordi´s sting ray friend

Cheyney getting sting rayed

Day four was magical, we went snorkeling with the man they call The Fish Whisperer.  His name is Jordi, he is about 70 years old and has been taking people snorkeling since the early fifties.  He is the captain of a small sailboat that he built himself.  He only allows a maximum of seven people on the boat and requires that no smoking or drinking take place on his boat.  He also requires that there be no talking while in the water so that the reef can be absorbed and seen for it´s beauty.  We made three stops, while Jordi was in the water he would make snapping noises and the fish would come to him.  The whole time he was in the water, a school of fish would follow him.  He didn´t bait them, they just knew him and came to him.  A large sting ray also followed him.  He would call to it and it would come to him.  He would then grab it and have it swim across our bodies, coolest thing ever.  At one point he called a huge moray eel out of it´s cave.  There were sea turtles, nurse sharks and amazing coral structures.  Thousands of different kinds of fish littered the corals in dazzling colors.  This man was legendary and the trip has become one of the greatest things I have ever done.

We also went fishing, Belize style.  No rods, just fishing line, hooks and hands.  Dice was a local resident at the hostel we stayed at and one of his scams was to take visitors at the hostel fishing.  The scam is that he owns a restaurant, so we were paying him to go fishing so that he could sell the fish at his restaurant, clever little fellow!!  It was a great day on the water.  Most of us caught a few fish, Dice caught many and Kathrine, well Kathrine caught a baby fish with Dice´s help at the end of the day.  She was a broken woman!!  We caught red snappers and silk snappers, in total about thirty fish.  We did this twice, once during the day and once at night.

Sea turtle!!

Nurse shark

All these things took place on my first trip to Caye Caulker.  You see, the family actually left Caye Caulker on day seven and went caving, sadly without Cheyney who had to return to Canada.  About eleven miles south of Belmopan is a resort known as Caves Branch.  They offer amazing caving opportunities.  We grabbed the bus and we were off.  We were dropped off on the highway at the entrance of the resort.  We walked up the mile long road with our packs, through the jungle and howler monkeys in the background doing what they do best.  We knew it was spendy, so we also packed our own food.  We knew it was a resort, but we did not know the it was a RESORT!!!  We approached the guard house and our packs were swiftly put into a cart and carted to the front desk.  By the front desk were two pools and a hot tub.  There were seven of us, so we had two cabanas.  The cabanas had clean sheets, nice pillows and oil lamps for lighting.  There were hot water showers and locks on the bathroom doors.  We were in heaven and instantly decided that we were staying two nights not one.  First a swim, than hot tub, then a plunge and back to the hot tub.  This went on for hours, we didn´t know what to do with ourselves!!

Kathrine swimming under me

This is how Canadians burn

Naturally formed pools

The Family

alot of swimming and heavy mist in the cave.  The first waterfall was the tallest and we had to climb it like a rock wall.  Another waterfall was climbed by going behind the water to the top.  We were all wide eyed and our adrenaline was pumping.  We got over the fifth and final fall and it was time to turn back.  This is where it got a little scary, particularly for me.  You see I think that jumping off of things into water is rather stupid, therefore I steer clear of these activities.  Kathrine is the queen of jumping, so she was pumped, the first to take the first leap, about 20 feet.  I got up there, received my landing instructions and did not hesitate.  There were two more leaps, the last was the tallest, about 30 feet.  I did it without pissing myself and it felt great!!  We than had a burrito lunch in the cave with fresh veggies.  This may have been one of the coolest things I have ever done.  Imagine following a river in a cave and then jumping off the waterfalls in the cave, insane!!

Family hot tub time!!

We got back to the resort and guess what...hot tub for the rest of the night!!!  The next day it was time for the family to part ways.  We all got the same bus to Belmopan.  Kathrine, Rachael and Tim got off and headed for San Ignacio.  I had been traveling with Kathrine for three weeks, and it was sad that we had to breakup, I miss her with her funny Australian ways.  I do hope to see her again one day, I am sure that I will!!  The Great Danes and myself headed back to Caye Caulker.  You see I needed to kill a few days because I was meeting my friend Nicole in Flores in a few days.  Why not kill that time in paradise?  It was an easy choice.  Got back to Bella´s, Dice could not believe it and the owner Jeff said that he knew I would be back.

Manatee hunting

Hostel fun - Fiona on a kid´s bike

I am going to tell a story, a story that became legend on the island and no fault of my own.  I had already made a name for myself, you know that whole friendly thing, so most of the locals knew me by name.  But the first night back on the island, I became a legend.  I in no way wanted this, but it happened.  One of the greatest scam artists on the island are the island police.  The scam is to hassle drunken male tourists, shake them down and arrest them.  They then extort them for all the money they have.  We figure one out of every five male tourists gets arrested and pays a ¨fine¨.  Unfortunately this happened to Tim on my first stay at the island, a story for him to tell.  I was leaving The Oceanside, fist bumping and shaking hands with the locals that were in there.  I made the friendly mistake of fist bumping an officer of the false law on the shoulder and was arrested for assaulting a police officer.  Really, me assaulting a police officer?!?!?!  I was taken to the police station and thrown in the cell, a very, very dark cell.  This is when they start in on the scam.  ¨Where is your ATM card, you are gonna need alot of money to get out of this.¨  I was well versed on the scam, so I told them that I had not done anything wrong, they didn´t like that and back in the cell I went.  After about an hour, Jeff showed up at the police station to spring another tourist.  The officer told him that he was staying and going to Belize City to court for a real violation - possession.  Then the officer told him that the Grampa looking guy at his hostel was in the other cell.  ¨Hobbit?  why would you arrest Hobbit?¨ ¨¨Assaulting a police officer.¨ ¨Hobbit?¨ They let me out of the cell, I saw Jeff and gave him a big hug.  The officer I ¨hit¨told Jeff that I hit him so hard that his chest still hurt.  I began to chime in and Jeff told me to shut up and sit down.  Jeff bailed me out for $150.00 and we went back to the hostel, had a beer and went to bed.  The next day on the island locals were waving at me and giving me high fives.  Being infamous is much worse than being famous!!

This is where you don´t want to be on Caye Caulker

After the incident, the next morning the Great Danes and myself joined Dice on a boat trip to the manatee island.  While we were preparing, Fiona walked by on her way to the split, I invited her to join and she did.  So the four of us went manatee hunting in the mangrove islands.  It was a beautiful day, clear skies, hot and we were on a boat.  Great way to forget how crooked the police are in this paradise!!  We saw manatees, a special tour through the mangroves.  They are rather large, like big swimming cows, really cool.

Well, that was pretty much it.  After my little run in with the police, I played it cool, well until Tim showed up again!!  No more arrests.  I had taken part in most of the activities offered.  My last few days on the island were spent in this manner....fry jacks for breakfast with fresh fruit juices, then off to the split, long swims and mermaiding, lunch, back to the split, sunset, dinner, a few beers at the hostel, maybe a check on the bar and to sleep.  This exhausting schedule of activities was spent with Fiona, as the Great Danes left and Tim was generally not awake till after twelve.  It was great, loved every minute of doing absolutely nothing.  But all good things come to an end and Fiona and I returned to Guatemala and left Tim with a beer in his hand in paradise.

The Guatemalan Jungle

With Zephyr Lodge behind us, Blanche, Katherine and I headed for the jungle.  Rio Dulce was our first stop, we needed to get Blanche to a doctor.  We found a clinic the next morning, since I was the Spanish speaking member of the crew, I was elected to join her in the examination room.  I learned all kinds of great things about Blanche's illness, it was disturbing at times, but this is what you do for friends!  I never knew there could be so many different colors of poop in one sitting!!  We learned that the three of us were not traveling alone, Blanche had some friends riding along with her - amoebic parasites.  This would explain the constant runs to the toilet.  We loaded up on antibiotics and we were out of Rio Dulce.  The town was bustling and crowded, we needed peace and quite in a natural setting.

Boat ride down the Rio Dulce

We caught the boat to Finica Tatin the next morning.  Did I mention we were in the jungle in the dry season, well it had been pouring down rain since we arrived.  The boat ride was wet and wild, the three of us were huddled up under a tarp.  We came to Finic Tatin to go kayaking, not for the rain!  It was a beautiful place, except for the rain of course.  Katherine and I were able to get an hour of kayaking in the second day in between the rain drops.  The rest of the time was spent in hammocks reading and relaxing.  It was a great four days, Blanche's health improved and we all got some needed rest.  We also met some great people, one of which surfaced again in my travels, Rachael.  She showed up two nights before we left and was, let's go with...crazy. 

This is how you relax!!

Never ending rain

Time to move, Blanche decided to return to Xela for Spanish school, Rach headed for Zephyr Lodge and Katherine and I were off to Livingston.  We came to kayak and we decided to kayak to Livingston from the hostel.  Rain or shine we were going to make this kayaking happen.  It was a two hour paddle down the river, if we were wet, we would be wet.  It rained when we left, we looked at each other thinking - idiots.  A miracle happened, it stopped raining for the first time in four days!  We could not believe our luck, rained the first ten minutes and after that cloudy but no rain.  The views were incredible, high cliff walls in a jungle setting.  A toucan was sighted flying over head and the locals were fishing with nets in the river.  I was a perfect float.  We were paddling into Livingston, through old docks with trash in the water and old boats collecting guano and rusting away, when blue sky appeared.  Katherine's response "Hobbit look at it, it's beautiful, just like a post card!!"

It so happens that Nicole, someone I met in Antigua, was working at Casa de la Iguana.  I contacted her because this was a big weekend, Superbowl weekend.  I had one goal this weekend, to watch the Giants beat the Patriots.  We checked in and found Livingston to be a rarely visited seaside town with a lot of culture.  The people were friendly and the rain had stopped.

Rio Dulce

This hostel we stayed at, the one Nicole was working at, was run by an insane Englishman.  When I say insane, I mean INSANE!!  He was oddly hilarious, oddly unique and a former stripper.  Weird, weird man!!  One would gather from this information that the rest of the staff was equally unique, and they were.  The great thing about this situation, it made for hysterical happenings all day long.  The food was incredible and the bar flowed freely. 

Winning!!

Livingston beaches

Walks along the beach lead to waterfalls known as Seven Alters.  An amazing natural beauty that we swam in and jumped off of.  Well, some of us did, some of us watched, namely me.  I do not jump of things, it seems like an idiot thing to do!  The day we went to the waterfalls, we meet Tim and Jennifer from London.  Great people and a lot of fun.  But like a lot of English people, they had no interest in Superbowl Sunday and left that day for peace of mind.  I on the other hand was ready, and excited.  Rusty, the owner of the hostel, prepared a special Superbowl meal, moved the TV into the dining area and it was time.  The only problem was that the electricians were taking longer than expected.  There was no power, Rusty explained the importance of the game and they picked up the pace from barely moving to a slow crawl.  When the power came on, the Giants were in the end zone with a safety.  I still have no idea how it happened, but I love it!  As the game wore on, the only Patriots fan slowly became a bit quite and eventually disappeared to his room checking out the next morning before anyone was awake.  I on the other hand celebrated long into the night, creating a long slumber the next day.

I really wanted to get a Sexy Look!!

The plan was to go to Honduras after Livingston.  Well, plans change.  Katherine was planning on going to Mexico to meet friends.  She found out that Mexico was off and we decided to extend our traveling friendship and we left Nicole in Livingston and headed for Belize.  So here I sit, in sunny Belize, far from Honduras with more to tell for another time.

The Dream Team takes on Zephyr Lodge and Loses

Zephyr Lodge

The Dream Team, Katherine, Marty, Blanche and myself headed out of Xela for Lanquin and Zephyr Lodge.  Zephyr Lodge is located in the beautiful temperate forest of Guatemala.  We arrived after 11 hours of travel, tired but excited.  We were greeted by Dieter, a short Guatemalan guy who spoke perfect English, with an English accent.  This was all in the midst of a bar atmosphere, loud, with many drunk Australians.  Dieter was also drunk, this should have been the first clue to the atmosphere of this place, but we were determined to stay until Marty had to return to Sydney in 6 nights.   The only saving grace of our extended stay was that the fourth night was free and the fifth day was happy hour all day.

Katherine and Marty relaxing

I set up my tent, a little worried because we saw a huge tarantula on our way to the lodge.  You only live once, so up it went.  We regrouped at the bar, accessed the situation and realized that we were in trouble.  Once again, you only live once!  An early night was in order, long day of travel means weary people.  This is the timeline for the next six days:

Wizard Sticks

Day 1:  There are really only two things to do in Lanquin, go tubing on the river or go to Sumac Champey.  We decided for our first day to enjoy the amazing mountain views and relax.  I woke and ran into my friend Jordy.  He told me I should take a shower, I thought "I shouldn't smell that bad, but he might know more than me."  So, I went to the shower and realized, it wasn't me it was the shower.  The shower is open, facing the view.  Best shower I have ever had, the water was even hot, oh paradise in the mountains had been found!!  The rest of the day was spent in hammocks, lounging and enjoying life.  Then the tubing crew got back, a bit drunk and ready for Australia Day part I.

Marty on the river

How many Australians can you fit in a Tok-Tok?

What you ask is Australia Day?  I do not know, I have been part of a it few in my travels but I have never gotten a straight answer on why Australians loose their minds on this particular day.  Katherine explained that it is the day that Captain Cook landed on the island and claimed that it was sovereign land.  Others had other ideas that actually made no sense, so I am sticking to Katherine's story.  It was time for a beer and apparently to town for fireworks.  Dieter, Marty, three other rather drunk Australians and myself were sent on the journey.  Two hours later we return with bags full of what I would call illegal fireworks, made in China my ass.  At this point the first member of the Dream Team became ill.  Blanche had developed a stomach bug, both ends, not good.  Off to bed she went, and then there were three. 

Katherine with dog

One of the Australian traditions is to play a game called Wizard Sticks.  Basically you drink canned beer and as you finish them, you duct tape them together end to end.  The point of the game is to drink your height in beer to become a wizard.  Marty, without asking me started taping my beers together, thank you Marty.  As the night progressed, it was time to get our wizard costumes together, and prepare to say "You Shall Not Pass,"  that is all I wanted to do.  The problem was that I did not tape the first four beers of the day to my stick, so I failed as a wizard by one beer can.  Loose.

The happy couple!

Day 2:  Blanche was still out for the count.  The remaining three were feeling a bit slow, but went to bed earlier than most so we were a bit more alive than others.  Today was tubing day, and Australia Day part II.  Why another Australia Day, because the night before we celebrated Australia Day in Australia.  Today we celebrate Australia Day in Guatemala, which is 24 hours ahead of Australia.  Tubing was incredible, beer, turquoise waters and sun.  Two hours on a river, getting to know people at the Lodge and having fun.

Entering the cave

Back to the Lodge for a nap.  Yes, hot tent, sun beaming down on it, just what I needed...sweat lodge.  Apparently while I was sleeping, more fireworks were bought.  By the way, Guatemalan fireworks are not safety first, there were a few burns the night before, as there was going to be more in the future.  Day two of Australia Day got a bit bizarre.  There was an Australian couple that was planning on getting married when they got back to Australia.  Well, it was Australia Day, they were in Guatemala and there was a guy there named Hobbit that is an ordained Reverend.  You see were this went.  I married them, there was a wedding party with bizarre signs on their chests and it has become legend.  The bride and groom wore signs that said "We are getting married Bitches!"  Yes, it was the most Australian ceremony I have ever preformed.  I hope that the happy couple, Stephanie and Duncan, are enjoying their honeymoon!!

Semuc Chempey

Day 3:  Our free night.  Finally, the majority of Australians left and the Lodge was a bit more peaceful.  The day was spent relaxing, eating, drinking fruit smoothies and reading.  As the evening approached  beers were drank, but the new crowd was a bit more mellow.  Kathrine and I called it a night.  It seems Marty did not, oh to be 21 again.  What do you get when an Australian, an Englishman, a Guatemalan and a Kiwi take Tequila shots past bar close?  A complete disaster!!  Without going into any details, let's just say this was Marty's last stand.

Swimming through the pools...in the rain!

Day 4:  Happy hour day.  What to do on our happy hour day....tubing!!  Blanche was still out, Marty was barely moving but Kathrine and I (the adults in the group) we ready.  We were able to wrangle Marty out of his bed.  Another great sunny day on the river, and another wonderful nap.  Although, Marty never woke up from his nap, and then there were two.

It was happy hour day, and I saw no reason to let it slip through my hands.  Luckily, it was a mellow night, which ended before bar close.  Although it was later then planned, shocker!!

The view from Zephyr

Day 5:  Our last day, and Sumac Champey day had arrived!!  Blanche and Marty actually felt good enough to go on the journey.  I had a bit of a hangover but was ready and Katerine felt like roses.  This tour involves caving and witnessing one of the many natural wonders of Guatemala.

We start with the caving, this was definitely not an OSHA approved activity.  There is a river that runs through this cave, it has eroded it down and you can explore it.  Caves are dark, so those ingenious Guatemalan's figured candles!!  I thought a flashlight would be best, but candles seems to be a more adventurous way of doing things.  I actually turned out to be amazing with candles.  We swam with our candles, we climbed with our candles, we slid down small openings and climbed a waterfall.  Two hours in total and it was great!!   Blanche and Marty made it 5 minutes, and then there were still  two.

Next activity, jump off tall things into the river.  First a rope swing, then a bridge over said river.  Both were way to high for my ever present phobia of heights, I bowed out along with Cheyney from Canada.  We watched as these idiots jumped.  Katherine is a jumping machine, we found if you give the option to jump, she will do it, regardless of height!

This is why you stay at Zephyr Lodge!!

Next the climb to the mirador over Semuc Champey.  Semuc Champey is a natural 300 meter bridge over Cahabon River.  The water flowing over it from the adjacent mountain is turquoise, making the whole natural beauty of the place amazing.  The mirador view was amazing, but it was raining, which kind of dampened the experience.  We than went to the bridge and our guide swam us through the pools.  It might have been raining and cold, but it was still amazing.  They day ended with dinner and the lodge and an early night.  We left the next day, without Marty, but we left...thank God!!

Thank you to the Zephyr Lodge staff for an fun filled and a bit insane week!  Highly recommended for those headed to the beautiful mountains in Lanquin, Guatemala!!